Tag Archives: asking the internets

A plethora of pomegranates

Our friends with the superproductive garden have a pomegranate tree that produced an overabundance of fruit this year. While I was visiting today with my lucky friend who had a five day weekend (she works four ten-hour-days each week and Monday’s her scheduled day off), she offered to give me some of the pomegranates, since they have far more than they can eat or use before they go bad or dry out. I left with a bag of 12 medium-to-large gorgeous pomegranates, most with just a slight split but none completely closed so I need to use them soon. Any ideas for how to best use these ruby beauties? I’ve got one idea for making pomegranate-infused vodka, but that won’t take my whole stash. I’ve already made chocolate-covered pomegranate clusters, which are delicious but don’t keep very long even in the refrigerator. So I’m opening up the floor to suggestions. What’s the best use for a dozen organic, homegrown pomegranates?



I figure he’s probably in his forties, maybe late 30s. Balding a little on the top, makes up for it by dressing younger than he probably should. His favorite thing to do on a Saturday night is to go out for beers at the local watering hole with the same friends he’s had since high school. Larry isn’t married, and is pretty much OK with that.

Larry woke up one day in early September and decided to join the Hare Krishnas.

Larry woke up one day in early September and realized he had a gambling problem, an online porn addiction, a nonexistent septum from all the coke he did.

Larry woke up one day in early September and his arm fell off.

Larry woke up one day in early September and had a massive myocardial infarction.

Larry woke up one day in early September and felt compelled to devote the rest of his days to curating a Real Doll museum.

Whatever happened, Larry told his work he’d be out for ten days. A few days later, he told them he’d be out until November 14. Larry didn’t call work after that, and when they tried calling him, he didn’t answer.

If Larry doesn’t show up for work tomorrow morning, Dan may have an extremely good shot at being Larry’s permanent replacement. So please, if you feel as I do that Larry should just go ahead and not show up, send him some vibes. Tell him that whatever else he’s doing is far more important than keeping the job, so Dan can have it instead.

I feel like the universe owes us this one, but even if Larry does show up for work, at least Dan will have had a long-term assignment with good reviews, a potential for some good references, some further-developed skills, some networking opportunities. But I really think it’s best for everyone if Larry just doesn’t show up tomorrow. Don’t you?

A green costume

OK, internets, I need your assistance.

Dan and I have been invited to a Springoween party – that is, a costume party in the middle of the spring. And the theme? Green. As in, reduce, reuse, recycle. The evite says:

“This is, of course, an interpretive theme so crack open those brains and scramble that sucker ’til it fits. Reduce a sheet to strips and come as a mummy. Reuse a costume or costumes pieced together from Halloweens passed. Recycle someone else’s costume from Halloweens passed. (Cross-dressing is welcome, as always.) Recycle a costume idea not yet suited to another themed party. (Um yeah, that’s a convenient loophole to let in new costumes.) Hell, come as an aluminum can or a compost heap, just Reduce, Reuse and/or Recycle. Just be prepared to explain which. “

So, I had a few ideas for costumes. We’ve got lots of leftover costume pieces from Halloweens (and other costume events) past. And I like the idea of going with something both green (recycled/reused) and green (the color). Here were my thoughts:

Option A: Green Fairy (see: absinthe, Moulin Rouge) I have bits and pieces that could make this work, since I tried to do something similar for Halloween back in…2002? I could make wings out of coat hangers and old holey green tights, and I could carry a flask with absinthe in it. Or make a wand. I’m picturing tattered, fractured. Pros: I’ve got everything I need for it. Con: I’d still need to do some work (making wings, figuring out top part of costume, etc.) to make it happen.

Option B: What better way to recycle a costume than to wear my wedding dress again? It’s got green on it, and I can’t imagine when I’d ever be able to wear it again for anything. I’ve still got my shoes and my necklace. And hell, I could still make those wings. Pros: I get to wear my wedding dress again! Cons: It’s kind of heavy and less open to interpretation, costume wise.

Option C: I do something entirely different that doesn’t involve the color green at all.

So, internet, what should I wear to Springoween? Any ideas I haven’t thought of?

My favorite one for summer is cut grass

They say that smells and scents are tied up with memories in a way that the other senses can’t quite match, probably because the olfactory sense is a part of the limbic system. Apparently, when we’re young we tie a smell to a memory of a place, a person, an event, and then when we smell it again we’re transported back to the original memory.

I can say without a doubt that this is very true for me. The smell of a burning brush fire or house fire has, in the past, given me panic attacks. There’s an essential oil I found one time that is linked in my mind, inexplicably, to my summer camp. Holidays have their own appropriate scents: dead leaves at Halloween, cranberries at Thanksgiving, and evergreen trees at Christmas. A few days ago I was walking home from work and smelled clove cigarettes: either the smoke from someone smoking one in the building I was passing by, or someone on the street who had smoked one earlier. I wasn’t quite sure where it came from, but it brought me right back to my freshman year of high school, when my best friend at the time and the other people she hung out with smoked cloves and I hoped fervently that some adult wouldn’t happen by to string me up by my toenails for even being nearby when that obviously Bad Behavior was going on. And don’t even get me started on the smell of pot smoke, because I will do everything I can to get away from that.

This morning, though.

This morning, I was walking to work, and someone was walking behind me. Eventually he overtook me, passed me, and as he made his way to my left I happened to inhale. He smelled just like The Chef, the guy I dated (briefly) after College Boyfriend and I broke up and before I met Dan. I don’t know what it was. The Chef usually smelled like a kitchen (after all, he WAS a chef), but after a shift he’d shower and when we’d go out he smelled like something. A shampoo? a lotion? Knowing him, it was probably some sort of Masculine Cologne or aftershave or some crap like that. I never knew what it was and I never asked him. I haven’t smelled anyone else with that same smell in the many years since I last saw The Chef (at an awkward baseball game, about which Dan always teases me because I LEFT EARLY, oh, the horror, but I have tried to make it clear to him that I HAD TO GET AWAY.) I hadn’t even thought about the chef in, oh, years maybe, other than to remark on the 3 good things and one Life Lesson I learned while involved with him (1. How to make my own salad dressing from scratch, 2. How to toss a skillet without needing to use a spatula or other implement, 3. How to play scrabble competitively, and Don’t Date People Who Used To Have A Drug Problem And Are Also Kind of Intellectually Stunted, respectively) at various times.

One of the things I like about Dan is that he has his own smell. He doesn’t cover it up with cologne or aftershave. I like the smell of his shampoo, body wash, and deoderant, plus the smell that is just Dan. When I have to travel for work, I often bring a t-shirt of his with me, one that he’s worn for a day and that I can use to sleep in. It helps me sleep, having that smell with me, even though I’m alone in the room by myself. I guess I’m just weird that way.

Are there any smells for which you have strong memories, internet?

Where to next?

It’s time for us to plan another trip.

I need another big thing to look forward to. Both of us want to go somewhere new, somewhere big, a Big Deal sort of a trip. No Canada or USA. It’s gotta be someplace with a) a different language, or b) a long plane trip (or c, both).

So. Here are some ideas we’ve floated. We’re thinking maybe January, after the holidays, when it’s dreary and cold in Colorado and warm in other parts of the world. Among the places we’ve discussed are:

Mexico (adventure-travel, exploring ruins Mexico, not lounge-on-the-beach Mexico)
Australia or New Zealand
Someplace in Southeast Asia?

So, internet, tell me. Where should we go, to escape the January doldrums and add another notch to our belt?

(Places we have been together: China, Italy)

Help me to be a girl

Last year, as a wedding gift (ostensibly to both of us, but really to me), some of my coworkers bestowed upon us(me) a $60 gift certificate to the Aveda Institute here in Denver. It’s a short distance away from my work on the 16th street mall here, and it’s the place where Aveda trains people to cut hair and do salon treatments like manicures, pedicures, facials, etc. I used $15 of the gift certificate to get my hair cut back in November, but I won’t need another haircut for a while and the gift cert. expires in early March.

So, I’ve got $45 to spend at an Aveda salon and I have no idea what to spend it on. I’m not a product type of girl, and I have very sensitive skin so the idea of getting a facial or buying some fancy expensive shampoo doesn’t really appeal to me because I have no idea if it’ll make my skin break out or work on my (oily thick fine) hair. My gym friend is the one who told me about the $15 haircuts and she cautioned me against getting a manicure (not that I’ve ever had one!) saying that the few times she did, the polish came off really quickly.

The Aveda Institute’s website shows a “service menu” describing the things you can get there. Some of the things, frankly, scare the ever-loving crap out of me. Disincrustation back treatment? Botanical skin resurfacing? Uh…no thanks.

The idea of spending $30 on a pedicure, even if it’s technically free, just sounds kind of over-the-top to me. But tell me, internets, at least, those of you who have had things like pedicures and facials and stuff. What should I get? What should I use that last $45 on? Frankly, the most appealing-sounding things to me seem to be the massage and the waxing – at least I’ve had both of those before. I wasn’t thrilled with the wax job I got at the fancy salon the week of the wedding (I felt like I can do just a good a job or better myself for $7.50 worth of wax) but maybe the fancy plant Aveda wax would be better. I haven’t had a massage from a professional (or, I guess in this case, semi-pro) since college. Am I wrong to give up on the idea of a facial or pedicure or (ugh) disincrustation back treatment?

Please help me, girly internet people. (or boyly internet people, if you’re still reading this) How should I spend our (my) last $45 at the Aveda Institute?


I don’t know what I want for Christmas.

I never know what I want for Christmas or any gift-giving occasion, really. I have a hard time coming up with ideas for things I want. Sometimes I can come up with ideas for things I need, but those things aren’t as fun. This year, I have no idea. I bought myself a giftmas present yesterday, a pair of snowboots I’ve needed/wanted for a couple of years and they were on sale plus I had a $15 off coupon, so I got them for pretty cheap.

I’ll tell you what I really want: I want Wombat to arrive, safe and healthy. I want the economy to get better. I want a trip to somewhere exotic. I want my ipod back. I want everyone I know to have a good holiday season, however that is defined for them.

Tell me, internets. What do I want for Christmas?