Pre-birth: During labor, I get stuck on my mom’s bone structure somewhere up in there. They use a forceps to get me out. Had it been 100 years earlier, I probably wouldn’t have survived.
Birth-5: Due to a proclivity of putting things in my mouth, I scared the crap out of my parents on numerous occasions (did she just swallow a nail?) and was the subject of multiple trips to the emergency room for x-rays. Also, this one time I was riding on my dad’s shoulders and he tripped and fell and I fell off and had the wind knocked out of me but they didn’t know if I had a broken neck or anything so there was another trip to the ER.
Age 5-17: None that I can remember. I had an awful flu one year and probably had a mild concussion at one point but never even ended up in the hospital.
Age 17: Nearly hit by a bus in Berkeley coming home from campus (the bus ran a red light).
Age 18-21: Nearly hit by multiple vehicles on multiple occasions in Berkeley (generally, red-light runners).
Age 21-28: Nearly hit by multiple vehicles on multiple occasions in the Bay Area and in Denver (generally, red-light runners and people who don’t watch for pedestrians).
Age 29: This morning, along with several other people, I was nearly mowed down in a crosswalk by a driver who ran a REALLY REALLY red light. As in, the walk sign had already turned for us, every other car had stopped, and several people had already started crossing through the crosswalk. He had 2 small children in the car and didn’t even appear to care that he’d nearly killed at least 3 people. Bastard.
Internet, I ask you once again: is it really that hard to watch out for people who are walking near where you are driving? Is getting to your destination 30 seconds earlier really worth almost killing people, not to mention endangering your own progeny?