How to complete a Halloween costume

Step 1:

Figure out what to be for Halloween. Realize you have a costume you’ve never used for Halloween (but did use for a costume birthday party 6.5 years ago). Pray it still fits. Try it on. It fits! Mostly. Your boobs have grown more than a cup size, so the blouse is a little bit tight in the chesticular region.

Step 2:

Realize that on the first go-round, the crowning glory of your costume didn’t work out so well. Resolve to get it right this time. Decide to cover a pair of shoes with sequinned red fabric rather than paint and glitter this time; far less likely for moop (matter out of place, a Burning Man term) to occur this way. Obtain necessary fabric. Look through your shoes to see if any of them will suffice. Decide you need a new pair specifically for this venture. Look at Payless Shoe Source. Finally acquire cheap pair at Cross Dress for Less.

Step 3:

Assemble necessary materials for Operation Ruby Slipper. Not pictured: Hot glue gun used for finishing touches.

Step 5:

Make slippers. Get fingers all encrusted with hot glue. Get annoyed at Dan because he sent back the Wizard of Oz to Netflix so you can’t pause the movie on the closeup of the shoes.

Step 6:

Get ready for party. Pin blouse closed. Attend Halloween party populated with a plethora of very small children (most of whom are not yet speaking) and adults who are, for the most part, not culturally American. Thus, when you arrive, you realize you have to remove your shoes, making your costume less obvious to the other partygoers.

Step 5: Have a good time. Marvel at the size of the small child of the hosts, recipient of this blanket. He’s about 20 months old and nearly 3 feet tall, but doesn’t he look cute in his costume?

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3 responses to “How to complete a Halloween costume

  1. Sweet costume! I am so bummed that you had to take the shoes off. ALL THAT WORK!! LEFT SITTING BY THE DOOR!!Also: “Cross Dress for Less” – HA! We just got some of them in my city.

  2. The photos don’t do justice. They look really great, probably the best DIY ruby slippers I’ve ever seen.

  3. I was Dorothy for Halloween the year I was three. I wore a gigantic wig and carried around a very lifelike toy dog in a basket. That remains one of my best costumes to date, but I don’t think my shoes were nearly as great as yours.

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