Ok, I admit it. I watch America’s Next Top Model.
Not every season, or every show of every season, but I do read the recaps on TWOP and sometimes the forum there. I’ve still never seen season 1 and have only caught pieces of seasons 4-6. But it is the most wonderful, terrible show, and for some reason it’s like a horrible car crash where I just can’t look away. Plus, the scripting is awesome and sometimes the girls do really funny things, like pretend to pee on each other’s beds to mark territory. Or something.
This crop of girls is, of course, worse than all the other ones. There’s a mail order bride from Russia, at least 3 girls with shenises, and two “plus-size” models, whom we all know will never be ANTM no matter how many ribs Tyra eats. Last night, they kicked off the girl with the red ‘fro who thought the wearing of fur was OK if you made fur coats from animals that died of “natural causes.” Awesome. All I have to say is, these girls had better bring it. They’d better be fierce. And Tyra had better keep “going to call” those girls’ names without ever actually calling them, or my drinking game won’t work anymore.
Thankfully, Hulk puts up with my weird obsession, mostly because it’s fun to point and laugh and sometimes cool photos come out of it, though I’m sure they’re all photoshopped up the wazoo. But then again, what photos aren’t these days? I can’t wait for the makeover episode, when they’ll make the shenis girls look even more masculine and turn all the black girls blond or redheaded, and I really hope they give Mail Order Bride a fauxhawk in orange and black stripes. Because that would rule.